I Wanted

I wanted to see
If four walls could hold me
I wanted to see
If i would ever sleep again
I wanted to see
If fire would even burn me
Anymore

Rusty Stairs

on rusty swings we play
Getting higher as we go
Flying off
into the ether
Never ever wanting
To come back down
so Give me one last push
And I'll blast off
In a wave of smoke
Into the atmosphere
Where I promise
To never look down
And never to look back
What's done is owed
We've all gotten high
From flying on the swings

Halfway To The Stairs

We were halfway to the stairs
When you decided
That you no longer
Wanted to go on this trip
All our planning
All our packing
has gone to waste
Destroyed in much haste
By your tongue which spoke too soon
For now we are far away
The tension gone
The fear dissipated
You turned to me
and said
"Let's climb those stairs now"

Does The Left Hand Know?

Does the right hand know
That your left hand
In it’s long and prolonged absence
Is considering a rebellion?
To take back control
Of the pleasure that rules
It’s masters mind.
There is only
One hand that may
Emerge from the struggle
Victorious, with only
A few scars. Although
Both may be intact
Under the skin
The signs are perfectly
Obvious to those
Who decide
Not to be oblivious

Don't Need This Crutch

I need you
I don't this crutch
We've been dancing for so long
You've got to breath sometimes
No matter how hard
You clench your eyes shut
When you open your eyes
You should know
You will always know
That I will be here
Even the threat of death
Even the gI need you
I don't this crutch
We've been dancing for so long
You've got to breath sometimes
No matter how hard
You clench your eyes shut
When you open your eyes
You should know
You will always know
That I will be here
Even the threat of death
Even the guarantee of hatred
Would not drive me from your side

Wanderlust Will Sell Your Soul

Wanderlust will sell my soul
You left me cold
Never knowing where to go
When I was bold
You said go away
When I was on hold
You said that's not what I need
When I was happy
I made you sad
And when I was sad
That made you happy
This love for me
Is like the worst disease
I can't admit to having
Admitting to weakness
Is worse than the real thing
Even if strength is a figment
Of my overactive imagination
It's better than the reality
Of an over used world

Twist & Pull

Even the hate
Doesn't feel like it should
Even when you're gone
The hatred will remain
The words will fade
But these scars never will
Even as my memories leave
Fall through my fingers
Like sand through the sifter
My addiction to your thoughts
My addiction to you
Will remain
As strong as ever
No matter how many times
I try and calculate
The way out of this circle
That sucks me back in every time
I can never escape
You twist and pull me
Flip me around and play me for a fool
The fool I always am
The fool I refuse to see
I don't see what you see
You see what I never will see
I've tried faking it long enough
It's time to fess up
And face my own conscious

The Only Way Out Is Further In

These inside fears are the worst
That I've ever had to face
There is no greater fear
Than what dwells inside
For what dwells inside lives without a name
And those without a name
Cannot be destroyed
Or ignored, or gotten rid of
You have to live with it
And cherish them, as they eat you alive
Even as they destroy you
Crush you from the inside out
You must love them the same
Because if you give up hope
You give up all chance of survival
All chance of sanity
There is not a single thing you can do
Except close your eyes
And wait for the inevitable dawn
Once the transfer is over
Once the circumstances are correct
Then you can open your eyes
And admit you have changed
Look yourself in the eye
And know that you are not you anymore
What you once hosted
What served you has turned the tables
You know live inside of it
Never knowing when you escape
So start eating my friend
The only way out is further in.

Compartmentalize Or Die

Conversations alone
Are a lot less boring
Than conversations with the dead
Conversations with the dead
Leave you depressed
Dragged down
To their little level
Level your life out
You're taking on water
Listen to the whisper
From the romantic wreckage
There you'll find
The answers you need
The stuff you were trying to find
From the first second you stepped foot
On this misbegotten plan
Every idea is unworthy
Every plan will fail
Unless you don't care
So they can't scare you anymore
But as long as you care
As long as you can't let go
Then you will fail
Compartmentalize or die

Watery Mournfall

Tentative pastoral controversy
Change wandering
swirling caucophony
Surface elsewhere
Somewhat mysterious
Flurries to a minimum
Pouring into and out
Tentative seemingly under
shimmer drift & glisten
Three chords and a violin
simply a chant
Consider "traditional"
Watery mournfal
Centerpiece overdub
Drone overlap
Masking mirroring
Holding turbulence
Catharsis drama
Quiet tension
Usher in the aftermath
Whispering generous background
Poetic and lying
Dense solitute
Desire remembrance
Extend empty terrain
See into secret truths
Speak immeasurably small
Shimmering honest
Emotional dynamic

(This too is a found poem. Found in a review of Dirty Three's Ocean Songs album)

Singular Belief

The abandoned shall rise again
The beaten shall rome the earth
After all has fallen
After the oppressions are driven from the land
Even the most ugly
The most repressed
And certainly the least worthy
Will have more than is her due
There is no limit
To how low the poor can fall
And there is only one limit
As to how rich
The top can get
They can only take
As much as the poor
Have to give
For once the poor run out
Of willing sacrifices
Once they loose their lives
They have nothing left to give
You can't eat thoughts
You won't survive on philosophy
And no matter how interesting
An argument can be
You will die first
Rather than survive
On a singular belief

Self Disconnect

Is there a way
To destroy all
everything I never said
All I wanted to say
But never had the chance
Hit the self destruct
Or the self disconnect
And find out who you are
When the chips are down
And the ships head out to sail
There is no other way
To connect inside
Look inside
Through the ever widening divide
And truly know you
And truly hate you
For there can never be a you
There can only be a me
And the tip of the knife
We are all dancing on
Fall of and you are doomed
Destined to be forgotten
Blow up in righteousness
Know you died
Fighting for the right cause
There can only be one
And that one must be me

Read Through The Centuries

Can't read through the centuries
Lock me down
And keep me safe
Padlock my brain
Tell me you'll keep it free
Wait for the tide
It will be yours
Eventually
Eventuallly
Everything will be yours
Because there will be nothing left
To divide up amongst us
There is no way of knowing
Of predicting the victor
And to the victor go the spoils
And the spills
And the barbed wire pills
To the victor go the history books
To write the story as he sees fit
There is no truer truth
Than the one written
From the end of a gun
On the tip of a bullet
Is all the truth
You will ever need to deny
All wrapped up
In a bottle of gin

Plummeting To Obscurity

Fond of the death spiral
Plummeting to obscurity
Try and escape
You only fall faster
Deeper and deeper
Farther and farther
Away from those
That said they cared
But they'll never really know
What happens behind
This painted pony
That goes down and up
Up and down
Side to side
Caught in a circular landslide

Locked In

Lock in
Go for the kill
Know what you want
Hate what you need
Let's use this light
Turn fate around
There can only be one
To turn this boat around
We could lose control
We could lose all hope
Impressioned and threatened
Shoved out into cold
Not knowing when to stop
Never look back
Don't let the clock stop
If the flag waves
For the final lap
Around the track
If the race must stop
Then I must let
Let go
Don't worry
It's all downup from here
Let go of yourself
The ego is the problem
The id is the cure

Less Epic More Raw

Unhinged from the beginning
Amuse the unamused
Hyperactive Sun Burn
Fight To Survive
The world should be watching
Mesmerising full sound
World torn apart
Listen up
Battle comparisons
In sync for the first time
Biggest package you can
Strike a nerve
Paranoid musings
Somewhat disturbed
Always disturbing
Rock thunder
Down the mountain
Fueled by fear
Infidelity and random murders
Baroque drama
Sits out and steps in
Polished and slick
Less epic more raw
Jackhammers and chainsaws
Bloodcurdling falsetto
Progressive small doses
Headstrong tackle on
Crave unrelenting
Grandiose ambitions

(this is not technically a poem I wrote. It's a found poem using words and phrases that appeared in reviews of Muse albums.)

Westside Connection - Bow Down

Fool For You

Can't you feel him coming?
Creeping up behind you
He's got his army locked in now
No way out but deeper in
There's now way out but deeper in
Look around you
He'll see you soon
Don't worry
It'll only sting a bit
You won't ever have to worry
About your problems again
While your off
Playing in the jungle
The rapidly growing suburbia
Contained within your shrinking mind
He's on wrapping his grip
Around every little problem
You may have created at one time
In your pathetic little mind
When you rub him that way girl
He says you set his soul alive

Essence Of You

Resist the soul attack
That eats away
At the essence of you
The only way you'll ever know
if you were meant to surive
Is to look back
Through mud coloured glasses
And reassses what you thought
Was lost forever
There is no way
To know forever
The only way
Is to now for now

New Story, Untitled As of Right Now

“This looks like the perfect spot Dave, what do you think?” Dave couldn’t actually hear her, as he was about 10 feet behind her, carrying the picnic basket, a jug of water, 2 lawn chairs and a giant umbrella. “Dave? Didn’t you hear what I said? What do you think of this spot?” Stumbling into the clearing, Dave dropped the stuff he was carrying except the water jug. Leaning back he took a gigantic gulp of water. Looking around and wiping the sweat off his brow, Dave said, “It looks just like the other 10 spots we’ve passed. Perfectly fine for a picnic.” Dave put down the jug of water and reached into the picnic basket, looking for a cookie.

Reaching over, Maria slapped his hand away. “If you want food, you are going to have to work for it Mister.” Groaning, Dave slipped to the ground. “We’ve already walked for 2 miles, most of it up hill. Thanks for helping me up that last hill by the way.” Maria reached for his hand, grinning, “I love it when you’re frustrated, it makes your freckles merge together.” “Thanks. Thanks a lot.” Dave said as he stretched for the lawn chairs on the ground. Finally grabbing one, he flipped it open, and dragged himself up onto it.

“Did you happen to pack anything alcoholic in that damn picnic basket of yours?” Dave asked, settling into his chair. “As a matter of fact I did.” His face lighting up, Dave reached for the picnic basket again. Slapping his hand away again, Maria motioned towards the forest. “How can you think of drinking when you’re surrounded by lush vegetation?” “If by lush you mean covered in roots to stumble over, infected with bugs to poison me and filled with animals wanting to eat me, then yes, I would rather drink.”

Maria reached in and pulled Dave up out of his comfy chair. Giving him a slight push, she ran into the rainforest. “Here we go again” Dave muttered as he gave chase. For as long as Dave had known Maria, going on 3 years now, he had never known her to make anything easy. As he gave chase, Dave pulled down tree branches and vines, attempting to mark a path so they could find their way back again.

On and on they ran, through the remote rainforest. Eventually the forest gave out and they were running through the giant rolling hills. Cattle and sheep just stared as the two of them went running past. Eventually Maria either started getting tired or was feeling sorry for Dave so she slowed down and she let him tackle her. They fell together onto the soft grassy hillside, going down in a giant ball of tickling laughter.

Their laughter was quickly brought to a halt by the ominous sound of a gun being cocked. Freezing in place, both Maria and Dave slid apart on the ground. Looking up at the man holding the gun, Dave slowly put his arms up in the air. Looking at Maria, the man said “You might make like your boyfriend unless you want to be ventilated Miss.”

Giving him a stare that would boil water, Maria slowly raised her hands as well. Backing up slightly, the man gave them both a good looking over, then slowly said “Alright. Unless you want to end up as dead as that coyote over there, I suggest you listen to me.” Both Maria and Dave turned their heads at the same time to look at the gruesome sight of a coyote mid-decomposition. “The lack of Vultures around here makes Mother Nature work a little slower than normal.”

Cautiously standing up, Dave asked, “Who the hell are you?” Grinning, the man with the gun smiled and reached into his pocket. “My name’s William Carter, but you can call me Bill. Hope you don’t mind if I smoke.” Reaching into his left breast pocket, Bill fished out a cigarette, left it dangling in his mouth while he fished around in his pocket for a lighter. Lighting it, his wrinkled face curled into a smile. “You are both smarter than I first thought. But not smart enough.”

“How are we not smart enough? We’ve managed to not get shot yet, that seems pretty smart to me.” Mariah said, raising herself up off the ground. “If you were smart enough you would have rushed me while I was getting my lighter, I was distracted and only had one hand. But before you go down that line of thinking any farther, I won’t be doing that again.”

Moving forward a little, Dave brought his hand out in front of him. “My name’s Dave Grant.” Eyeing Dave’s hand suspiciously, Bill slowly brought up his hand and shook Dave’s. “I don’t see how that matters much, but nice to meet you anyway.” As Bill’s attention was on Dave’s hand, Maria launched herself at Bill’s gun arm. Reacting quickly, Bill swung his arm up and down on Maria’s neck, knocking her down to the ground. Leaning over her, he pulled her long black hair away from her neck and stubbed out his cigarette on her neck.

Stepping away from her, he spat to the side “That’ll teach you a little respect.” Dave stepped forward, the vein in his neck bulging. “I can see you’re a fast little bugger Dave, but I bet you that my trigger finger is faster. Wanna see?” It was very obvious that Dave was fighting as hard as he could to not clobber the guy. Seething in anger, the smoke almost literally blowing out of his ears, Dave stepped back and unclenched his fist.

“That’s right Davey boy. Now you just help your girlfriend up there and we’ll be on our way.” Bill motioned with his pistol for Dave to help Mariah up. As Dave picked her up, Bill said “Now, you walk that way, and I’ll follow you. Just follow my directions and nothing bad will happen.” Dave shrugged and started walking.

Never Await Another Sunrise

Why can't you feel just like I do
Why do people have to be so different
If we were made for each other
And we where made for each other
Why are our minds so fixed on different things
All I want, is one little world
All I need is that one little world
Just three big letters and I'll be on my way
On to bigger but not better things
Things that will take my mind off
The inattention I've paid
To the rest of my life
The little things they build up
Slowly breaking me inside
Tearing me down from the outside in
But when you reach my hollow inside
My heart has stopped beating
And my blood has stopped flowing
There's nothing left
But a flowing
Everloving
Neverknowing
Piece of a former human
There will be nothing left
There should be nothing left
If there is something left
Then I have failed
There is nothing
Left for me to do
Except wither away
And never await
Another sunrise

[c] me

A Cool Comic

I did not draw this, but it pretty much sums a lot of my thoughts

Cyber Punk Anti Belief Collection, Poems 8-12

Save Me
Can't you tell
That twinkle in my eye
Is a gentle scream
Telling you to come save me
Save me from my best intentions
If you have ever cared about me
Now's the time to prove it
Save me from myself
And prove that you care

Trapped Inside
Trapped inside
This fake machine
Tells me what to believe
What to think
How to believe
Hit the ground running
Never ask for more
Never look back
And never go back

UnBelieve
Belief in the one true power
Will leave you dead and drained
Loveless and lonely
Unlovely and ugly

Untitled For A Reason
Exist to serve
And to save
Your priceless morality
From becoming
Another uselss commodity
Asleep with our eyes
Wide open so we don't miss
The next opportunity
To shed our shackles
And escape this senseless slaughter
It's gone to waste
All our wasteful days
Never grow to anything
Never figure out what it all means

Cyber Punk Anti Belief Collection Poems 5-8

Don’t Wanna Believe
Not sure I want to believe anymore
Not sure I believed in the first place
Disenchanted with this ghost mistress
She's the one
That's taken your place
In that space
There remains only one
ONLY one that can remain
In this stead of you and me

Love Me NOW
A waste of time
If you don't believe
In me now
Then it's a waste of time
To convince you to love me later
If you don't love me now
You'll never love me later

Same Kinda Threat
The same kinda threat
Said with a golden smile
Will kill you just as dead
As a the same kinda threat
Said with a gutter twist in mind
Spiral into the dark
No voices can be heard
Lost in our infinity
There's no way to be seen

Save heaven For ME
Save heaven for me
Little neutered boy
I'll be waiting
By the cherry blossom fountain
Waiting for you
To come strolling in
So high, fresh off cloud 9
Waiting for you
To come crawling back down
That voice you heard?
The last thing you saw?
That was me
Laughing at you
As we all fall down
Into

The Only Way Out Is Further In

The Only Way Out Is Further In

These inside fears are the worst
That I've ever had to face
There is no greater fear
Than what dwells inside
For what dwells inside lives without a name
And those without a name
Cannot be destroyed
Or ignored, or gotten rid of
You have to live with it
And cherish them, as they eat you alive
Even as they destroy you
Crush you from the inside out
You must love them the same
Because if you give up hope
You give up all chance of surivival
All chance of sanity
There is not a single thing you can do
Except close your eyes
And wait for the enevitable dawn
Once the transfer is over
Once the circumstances are correct
Then you can open your eyes
And admit you have changed
Look yourself in the eye
And know that you are not you anymore
What you once hosted
What served you has turned the tables
You know live inside of it
Never knowing when you escape
So start eating my friend
The only way out is further in.

Cyber Punk Anti Belief Collection Poems 1-4

Belief In The One True Power

You know you're gonna get sick
Just like our world
You know you're gonna get saved
Whether you wanna or not
You can't stop the sound
Of them creeping every closer
Time is hanging by a thread
Waiting for the fixer to stumble on by
Open me up
Clean me out
Make my gears work again
Just leave me here
Drained of all I cared about
By the one's I trusted the most


Beyond And Behind

Beyond stupendously disgusting
Beyond depending on you
Beyond needing my fix
Beyond loving anyone
Beyond needing
Beyond life itself
Beyond everything
Behind in everyway

Breaking The Stars

Breaking the stars
To figure out
Who you truly are
Bleeding from the stone
Figment of our mortality
Crying from the snow
Meaning our eventuality


Friday Night Fights

Friday Night Fights
Is the best thing at night
Saturday Wrist Slit
Gets rid of that nervous tic
Sunday Morning Hangover
Shows you're still alive
Monday Morning Blues
Make it hard to crawl out of bed
Tuesday Afternoon Blahs
Make it hard to stay awake
Wednesday Evening Cravings
Make it hard to stay away
Thursday PM Warnings
Make it easy to give up the ghost
Friday night fights
Are the best fights around

Lack Of Ink

Turn away from the faces
The one's that have made you holy
Turn away from the voices
The one's that serenade you in the dark
Turn away from the eyes
That seem to see right through you
Turn away from the ears
That hear your every moan
No matter how far you run
No matter how long you crawl
You can never escape
The one meant for you
There is no one
There is nothing else
There will never be
There never was meant to be
Anything else but me
Just a pen and a page
Are all that stand between me
And a white hot rage
The rage comes to destroy
To purify and clean
For in the rage comes destruction
But in destruction there is rebirth
A life worth living
Must be destroyed to be ended
The songs is neverending
On a loop continous
But even the loop
Must come to an end
Even the pen
Must run out of ink
And if the silence is all I've got
What's left to do?

Deserted Earth City

Behind every mask
Of efervesant hatred
There's a world
Waiting to take
You away forever
Away from the
Pain that you
Live every day
The pain that
You call love
The pain that
You have come
To love as
Your very own
You've never seen
The sun beeming
Down on a
Deserted earth city
Look down from
Your years spent
Staring down from
Above. You think
You're better than
The rest of
Us, simply because
You know the
Secret to eternal
Misery. But you're
Nothing but a
Loose bag of change
Withering in the
Wind. Never more.


Inspired by Psyclon Nine's Inri

A Little Rap

Thinking at eleven o'clock at night is a bad idea. Written to the beat to Common's Chi-City.

This is just a little burden
I gotta get off my shoulders
I've kept things inside now they get to hurtin
Every time I look
Deep into your eyes
You know baby girl
We ain't capable of lies
Just give it a whirl girl
Maybe you'll win the prize
I see you hanging out
Chillin with other guys
I got no reason
To claim that your cheatin
I got no reason
To claim you as my own
But we've gotten so close
Now you push me away
You're like the perfect rose
Thorns and all
Anytime you need me
Just give me a call
But if you push me away
Then it's away I'll stay

lyrics [c] me

Savage Antics

Nothing but vapors and smoke
Not the facts but a sense of things unraveling
The macabre and the madcap collide
Rich and jaded but credulous
Savage antics
Borrowing the term
Don't make me laugh
Explore sex
Usually adulterous sex
Redemption and reconciliation
Be good after all
Suggest it is slight
Shattered hubris
If not the personal
Achieve the sublime
Or at least the tragic
Finger pointing feminists
Nothing saves the grownups
Dress warmly for them
Original dimensions
Probably never will
Self educating types
Find the tombstones
Ostensibly turn
I did
Intercontinental sensibility
Don't live in a way that makes you feel dead

[c] me

A State Of Shock

Wow, I am truly in a state of shock right now. If you know me, or know the music I listen to, you should know by now that I'm into a little bit of Hip Hop. One of the problems I have is all the new rappers that don't bring anything new to the table, like Snap music, or the Game or Gangsta rappers in general.

I have particular disdain for the one known as the Game. I have yet to hear a good track or freestyle come out of his disrespectful mouth. He calls himself the "Doctor's Advocate", yet he does not have a single Dr. Dre beat on his whole freakin' album. In short, he sucks at everything.

Which is why I was quite shocked to hear not one, but two good verses come out of his mouth. It gets a little more understandable when you hear that it's on a Nas album. I'm assuming that Nas helped him out a little bit.

I would post the lyrics, but apparently the album is too new, because none of the sights I frequent have the lyrics up yet

All Is Said

when all is said
And done
And dead
Will you keep the broken wings
Floating down from a life lived on high
Built on empty promises
Dreams yet still intact
Stare into the sun
Stare into the earth
Watch as the world changes
Evolves
Leaves you behind
You don't need it anymore
Cause all is said
And done
And dead

[c] me

Dusting Down The Stars

Dustin down the stars
Trying to find out
Just who we really are
Am I just another fool with a pen
A fool who spews his thoughts on the page
Or am I something better
Someone worth something
Someone worth saveing

[c] me thanks.

Almost broken

I always said they'd never break. I always thought that I would hide my faults well enough so that those intending to break me would never be able to do it. I've always been the one that's willing to say "fuck this" and walk away to save my sanity. But when you're faced with this bullshit every day, day after day, it starts to get to you.

I am three bullshits away from literally saying fuck you to this school. I will walk away, say fuck you to my teachers, walk away because i don't need this. I don't this needles bullshit they try and fuck me with every goddamn day. I don't fucking need this anymore.

I always said they'd never break me. I guess I lied

What If

What where to happen
If the hero never shows up
Just ups and leaves
The leaves drifting down
Spiralling swiftly to dirty earth
Never knowing
Always leaving

Free Bird Falling

Free Bird Falling

There is a time for all things
And a thing for all time
But nothing last forever
Not even the grapes on the vine
The winter frost will kill us all
Even though we seem to be 2 feet tall
We will be brought down
Brought down to the lowest of the low
The weakest of the week
Is the most worthy of us all (10)
No one shall know the eternal glory
That lies on Rylox 9
The only way out
Of this eternal fire
Infernal life
Ceaseless existence
Timeless hour
Ageless angels
Flying with vested interests
In us not reaching heaven
Where do we go
When it’s all been said
Where will we live
When it’s all been built
In a thousand years or so
Who will remember what we’ve done
The buildings will crumble
Our words will fade
The lines in the sand
Will mean nothing to anyone
So live life like you mean it
For you won’t get another one.


This poem was written in 5 minutes for a timed write in Creative Writing class, the theme is supposed to be Insecurity.

To Do List

To write:

Allegory
Surveillance Article
Killswitch Engage concert review
Mars Theory article
Outcast story
Descent story
Insingizi article
Life's Little Rules

Looks like I've got my work cut out for me

I Know, I Know...

Give me time. I have yet to have a minute or the energy to squeeze some writings out. Maybe during creative writing tomorow

Killswitch Engage - As Daylight Dies

Has Killswitch Engage gone soft? Maybe. Does it make for a better album? Definitely. On their first 3 albums, Killswitch pounded out a very brutal, very original sounding kind of metalcore. With distorted vocals, blinding fast riffs and well-defined songs, those albums were original, for the time. But it’s now 2006, and the metalcore scene has exploded, and there are multiple bands doing the scream/sing thing, most of them not as well as Killswitch. Killswitch isn’t even as good as Killswitch.

I remember reading a Revolver Magazine a while back, before Killswitch went into the studio saying that they were going to make the most brutal and hardest album of their career. What they’ve accomplished is good, don’t let me tell you otherwise, but it’s nowhere near as good as their first 2 albums. But that also depends on what you mean by good. If you mean good as in sounding like you threw your middle finger up and stabbed me repeatedly in the face then no, it’s not as good as The End Of Heartache.

But if you mean good as in a band continuing to grow and experiment and making a play for a mainstream audience, then yes. This album is damn good. It has all the hallmarks of a Killswitch album, screamed and sung vocals, intricate, always changing riffs and that damn double bass that makes you wanna get up and kill someone.

So in the end, there are 2 ways to look at it. If you’ve never heard a Killswitch Engage album, and this will be your first, definitely pick it up and give it a go. But if you’re a seasoned Killswitch fan, one that’s been around since their debut disc, then be a little more cautious. It’s not a drastic change, but enough of a change to give one second thoughts.

New Song - Ox Atlas - Speed Demon

As seems to be my habit on the weekend, I have once again picked up my guitar and written another song, this one called Speed Demon. I wish I could say that I created some brand spankin' new riffs for this one, but I did not. I took the half of a chorus from another song that I'm not using (the chorus not the song) and attached it to a riff that I've had kicking around for a couple months now. It actually turned out pretty good.

The name probably needs some explaining, as the lyrics make no mention of speed. Whenever I play guitar or sing, I tend to go faster than I'm supposed to or need to, simply because I'm nervous and want to get the damn thing done I guess. But on this song, that actually works 'cause the riff sounds better when I go faster, although I do need to remember to slow down on the chorus.

Oh, I have also discovered a cool "new" band. They're not new, they've been around for a couple years, but they are new to me. They are also a rare type of band. A stoner rock band (in the vein of Kyuss, Nebula & Monster Magnet, according to Allmusic.com they sound like the Melvins, but I don't hear that influence) but fronted by a chick. There is nothing really new or extraordinary that separates Acid King from every other stoner rock/garage band out there, except for the fact they are fronted by a chick.

The riffs are slow and heavy, the bass is monstrous and the drummming is basic. There are very few distinguishable riffs, as they all tend to vanish in the purple haze that surrounds this genre. The album I'm listening to is the 2004 reissue of their second album, Busse Woods, for the epynomous stoner rock label Man's Ruin (the same label that did the 9 volume Desert Sessions). "Even if you consider yourself a teetotaler Busse Woods is an exhilarating dose of metal." Too true. Too True

The Black Crowes - Remedy

If you feel down, or other wise upset, watch this video, it's a Remedy for what ails ya!

Rise Against - Paper Wings

The pain of the eternally romantic...

Music Codes - MySpace Layouts

Movie Soundtrack

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every section of the movie, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits: John Petrucci - Wishful Thinking

Waking Up: American Minor - Cheaters & Non Believers

First Day At School: The Black Crowes - Thick 'N' Thin

Falling In Love: A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras

Shower Scene: moe. - Plane Crash

Fight Song: Daft Punk - Teachers

Breaking Up: The Grateful Dead - Uncle Johns Band (Live)

Prom: Proem - Mostly Forgotten

Life's OK: Gov't Mule - Slow Happy Boys

Mental Breakdown: Danko Jones - Sleep Is The Enemy

Driving: Aerosmith - Walk On Down

Sex Scene: My Morning Jacket - Come Closer

Flashback: Phish - Billy Breathes

Getting Back Together: Fu Manchu - Space Farm

Wedding: The Black Crowes - Sister Luck

Birth of Child: Aerosmith - Janie's Got A Gun (live)

Final Battle: Mustard Plugs - Mendoza

Funeral Song: Led Zeppelin - Celebration Day (kinda creepy if you ask me!)

End Credits: Three Days Grace - Over And Over

Sonic Youth - Incinerate

From their amazing latest album "Rather Ripped" here is Sonic Youth's video for Incinerate. It's a little arty, but it fits my mood perfectly right now. I might squeeze a post out tonight, otherwise, Happy Hump Day!

Another Time, Another Place

I feel out of place today, like I don't belong here anymore. It's not that I feel unwanted or unloved, I have plenty of friends and family that care about me (at least I think they care about me :P) but I just don't feel like I belong here. My values don't fit in, my looks are, well...weird for this time. I simply feel like I should have been born in the 60's. Flower children, peace love & happiness, make love not war and all that jazz.

I look around at the people that are supposedly my peers. I stand out so much, at least in my mind.

Callin' Out The Gangsta's

I've had it with the fake gangsta's populating our airwaves. Fuck 50 Cent, Young Jeezy, The Clipse, Lil' Wayne, Jim Jones, the whole Dipset & G-Unit clicks. They are not gangsta's. True gangsters don't promote the fact that they are gangsters. True gangsters are in the street, hustling, running drugs and doing drugs. Not in magazines promoting how many times they got shot, not on MTV objectifying women, and certainly not on BET.

If you're a real gangster, unless you're a psycho, you don't brag about killing people, or how many chicks you screw or how many ounces of blow you sell. You wanna keep that on the down low so the cops don't get suspicious of you and bust you. Although look at T.I., he supposedly sold Coke growing up and look at him now. Going to jail for parol violation may have been the best thing to happen to him (he didn't even have the balls to go to jail for something hardcore, say shooting someone, like Shyne (allegedly anyway :P)

True gangsters don't invest their money in worthless diamonds, they reinvest in the community. By buying and selling more drugs, guns and giving their hookers raises. Just kidding, they wouldn't dream of giving their hookers raises. If you think investing your rrsp in a giant gold necklace, look at how much gold fluctuates. Instead of buying what comes out of the ground, why don't buy the ground itself? Sounds smart to me...

People that say 50 Cent, Young Jeezy, The Clipse etc are true hip hop need a smack upside the head. Have you heard the new Game album? In the first 2 songs, there's barely a verse uninterrupted by a gimmick of some sort. Try listening to some good hip hop, real stuff like Giant Panda, Swollen Members, Jurassic 5, Immortal Technique or Aesop Rock. Those are all guys that know what Hip Hop really is.

Hip Hop is not about being "gangsta." It's about keeping it real to where you grew up, whether that's the hood or the suburbs. It's about saying something that matters. And 50 Cent? He's got nothing to say.

Trews, Moblie & Grace

Here's some rock for when you're feeling down

The Trews - Poor Old Broken Hearted Me



Mobile - Out Of My Head



Three Days Grace - Pain



'Nuff said.

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Powerball

On Thursday, November 16th, Power 97, the local "hard" rock station here in Winnipeg threw their annual concert Powerball. This year it featured Mobile, The Trews, Theory Of A Deadman and Three Days Grace.

Mobile took the stage around 7 to a 1/4 full stadium. There were some people there already, yours truly and Suki being two of them. Neither of us were particularly enamored with Mobile. They're too young to be any good at performing live, and plus the lead singer is just a dick. After their set they were out at the merch table signing autographs, Suki went up to each of them and asked them to sign her pants.

All of them were really nice except for the lead singer and the bassist (alright, the bassist was nice, but he was kinda perverted, more on that in a second). Suki went up to the singer and asked him very nicely if he would sign her pants. He completely ignored her, turned back to the person he was talking to, kept talking for 5 minutes, then turned around and said yes. He's acting like a rock star before he has the rights too.

And the bassist...he was just a little creepy. He grabbed Suki's leg, almost grabbing her ass in the process of signing her pants. Like she said later "He knew what he wanted and just went for it. BAM!"

Up next were The Trews, who in my humble opinion, were the best band there. They looked really scruffy, (half of them have full on beards) and looked as if they were here to rock. And rock they did. Along with The Black Crows, these guys have the potential to carry good-solid-balls to the walls-this one goes up to 11 rock & roll for many years to come

After The Trews were on stage, we went walking for a little while. I got a Trews shirt, and got the brothers to sign my notebook. You have no idea how happy I was!

Unfortunately, after The Trews rocked the stage, Theory Of A Deadman had to come on. I will be blunt, they suck. If Nickleback was the derivitive version of every 80's hair metal band without the good looks and talent + the angst of every 90's alt rock band + a lot of dirt from Alberta, then Theory is the derivative of the derivative. For what they do, dirty, by the numbers, angsty alt rock, it's good. But by it's nature, dirty, angsty, by the numbers alt rock is not good.

The less said about them the better.


And then Three Days Grace took the stage. And the crowd went wild. This is the first show I've been to where there was an honest to god mosh pit. People had backed away and created a circle where people were running around and attacking each other. Quite insane. Three Days Grace was good to be honest. Not quite my style of music, but they definately managed to win me over. My problem is this, I like Metal and Rock and even some Emo. I like a lot of music.

But if you're going to be playing a certain style of music, then you have to do that style of music balls to the wall, turn it up to 11 and all that. And Three Days Grace don't exactly do that anymore. Their first album they were all clean cut and played excellent, albeit by the numbers Metal. It was standard, less dangerous than Godsmack, but still entertaining and at least a little fresh.

But on this album, "One-X" they have become Greasy Metrosexual Emo's. And not even good Greasy Metrosexual Emo's. I spent the majority of my free time yesterday trying to think of a short version of that. GreMeEmo?

Anyway, they put on a very very good show. Both Suki and I lost our voices screaming out the lyrics. She actually screamed more than I did, as she is actually into them, where as I only know a couple of songs from their first album, but her voice was fine yesterday. Where as mine is completely shot to hell and back.


So in summation, Mobile = better on record, The Trews = best Rock 'N' Roll band there, Theory Of A Deadman = Warmed over Crap is still crap (although they do get points for having a lead singer that looks disturbingly like Chris Carraba from Dashboard Confessional, those points are taken away by the fauxhawk the singer rocked, they also get some more points for bringing out the lead guitarist from The Trews who rocked out even more with a mind bending solo, and for playing Santa Monica , the only good song they've come out with in a couple years) and Three Days Grace = Freaking beautifull greasy Emo's that managed to rock my socks off =)

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Daft Punk - Digital Love

Since I lost my voice at Powerball (I will be posting about that , I promise) and I can still barely talk, here's a dope song that will talk for me right now. From their second album, Discovery, Daft Punk's Digital Love.




Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long

Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long

The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true

Why don't you play the game ?
Why don't you play the game ?

Rant. Stay Away.

I don't know if I should be posting this, but whatever . Here goes nothing.

What the f*ck is wrong with you? I don’t understand what the f*ck is going through your brain (don’t worry about mine, though it’s small, it’s safe to be left alone) right now. I’m really f*cking confused when you flirt with me. I don’t f*cking know how to respond goddamnit! What we never had was never there to begin with! It’s dead, stabbed to death by a million unsaid thoughts, hacked apart with no thoughts to the family and then thrown in the lake with cement on its feet! IT WAS DEAD! I was finally over you. I was sleeping again, I wasn’t thinking of you all the time, I WAS FREE (well kinda, when I was away I didn’t care but now that I’m back and you have started to flirt me with me…I’m confused). Snow Patrol said “This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hallWhere you've had me for hoursTill I'm sure what I wantBut darling I want the same thing that I wanted beforeSo sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way”

The same goes here! WTF?


It should be pretty clear of who that is about.

New Song - Ox Atlas - Also Ran

I have written a brand spankin' new tune! It's a guitar driven piece, the verse is basically 4 power chords going up, and then the chorus is the same 4 chords in reverse, going down. It's a little song about how this one person is leaving and the person singing the song doesn't want them to leave, it's kinda autobiographical, but not really. I'd be lieing if I said I had experience with boy/girl relationships (or boy/boy, or even girl/girl for that matter) but I do have a very active imagination so I think I can kinda grasp how it would feel.

One interesting thing, when I'm writing to exorcise my demons (or maybe it's exercising them....) in any event, that writing's rarely any good. It's far too angsty, "The world is black like my soul." etc etc ad infinum. But when I'm imagining myself in these situations, my writing improves dramatically. The other thing that holds me back is my subpar guitar playing. For the life of me, I can't both play lead and sing, I can only play and sing when the guitar is mirroring the flow of the words. I really need to find a songwriting partner that can play guitar.


Grr. I can't believe that even a semi sad sack like the beautifull Jakob Dylan can write happy songs (see the first couple songs from the amazing album Red Letter Days) but whenever I try and write a happy song it just turns into sentimental mush, so all I ever write are sad songs. Kinda depressing when you think about it XD.

Video Of the Day: How To Be Dead - Snow Patrol

Music Video:HOW TO BE DEAD (by Snow Patrol)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

There's a sensitive singer songwriter in all of us :P

Sunday Morning Rambles

The Grateful Dead are ridiculously good. There is very little that can feel better than sitting at you computer on a Sunday morning, with absolutely nothing to do. The rooms a little cold so I have to keep jiggling or else my extremeties will go numb, but that’s not a problem, at least while Jerry’s singing. Everything about this morning is perfect. I do not have a headache, the coffee tasted good and I had some nice hearty laughs watching the extra featurs on the Office Space dvd I borrowed from the library this weekend.

I have also done some writing this morning, and I have discovered something about my writing style. I tend to rip someone off for the beginning, because that’s what I suck most at, is starting. I can never seem to find a way to start a poem until I hear a line in a song or a book or in a conversation. I put that down and then everything goes into it’s proper order. And it works. The Dead are great for beginning writing.

The Wallflowers - One Headlight

Sing along, I dare you. It's good for you're soul.

The Wallflowers - One Headlight:

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

Chorus:
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge

(chorus)

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me

(chorus)

Some Random Musings

I seem to have cobbled together enough writings to make a semi-decent post, so here goes nothing.

G0tta C0me D0wn

Gotta come down
To where my soul is clear
Gotta come down
To where my brain can breath
Gotta get down
To where other people live
Gotta get down
To where I can survive


Untitled (As Of Right Now)

The same kinda threat
Said with a golden smile
Will kill you just as dead
As a the same kinda threat
Said with a gutter twist in mind
Spiral into the dark
No voices can be heard
Lost in our infinity
There's no way to be seen

Broken Barbie Fairytales

Here I go again
Writing my twisted fairy tales
Story of beautiful
But broken girls
Here I go again
Falling in love with her
But then I remember
She's already been
Beautifully broken
Beautifully Broken For Me.

Waiting

waitin' for the day break
Waitin' for the sun to shine
Waitin' for the clouds to part
So I can see your smile

Together

we'll sin together
We'll fall together
We'll rise togther
We'll die together

Draw The Line (This one's not as good)

Where do you draw the line
Between fantasy and reality?
When someone gets hurt?
Then it's already to late
But how do you
allow freedom of thought
But protect the innocence
from the oh so guilty?
It is the continueing conundrum
Of our tortured society.
We can't keep them locked up,
but we shouldn't let them out either

So yeah. That's the most recent batch of my musings. Hope you enjoyed them :P

Picture Of The Day

This was posted in the chat of one of the communities I belong to.

Ninjas & Pirates

WTF is up with Ninjas and Pirates this year? Before all the nerds start attacking me and saying that the Pirates and Ninjas are cool, I agree. Ninjas and Pirates (From here on in N&Ps) are pretty darn cool. I mean, how much cooler can a dude that is dressed in blood red, uses nunchucks and throwing stars and has access to acient secrets be?

Maybe he could wear a really cool 3 pointed hat, have a parrot and talk in all yar matey's and stuff like that. But seriously, where did this stuff come from? I honestly didn't see this trend coming, then all of a sudden, it's like there's a Penny Arcade joke, almost every injoke from my summer and at least 3 or 4 of my friends on msn have Pirate or Ninja in their names. It's extremely confusing to a n00b like me.

I Dunno...

Well, this wil be interesting indeed. I hope that I can get into a regular routine for blogging and that I can find something interesting to blog about. If nothing else, this will be a spectacular flame wreck.