Saturday, December 29, 2007

A bible quote?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Are my scars permanent?
Can anyone else see what they show?
Lessons left unlearned until the final hour
burned themselves into my flesh
as a reminder of things left undone.
When my skin blisters, pops and peals
will the flesh underneath tell your story or mine?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Stir - With - A - HandGrenade

I stood over the yawning abyss,
(All my sins showing, both mortal and not.)
I saw my brother thrashing on the floor.

What I mistook for death like thrashes
were actually moments of joy.

The hell cavern below,
(the one we all call home)
was a place of repast and repentance and hope.

I stirred the pot, I turned up the heat
I did the dirty dead
that my brother would not ever do.

Signals get crossed
in the fog, in the woods.
Kitties come and go,
Lord knows what they’ve seen.

There are those who live here
but it is not their rightful home,

Sunday, November 04, 2007

The Watchmen - Stereo

I don`t know why, but i think this is a really awesome song.

My life is a stereo, how loud does it go?
What songs do I know? What ever happened to my plans?
Whatever happened to the life I thought I had?

My life is a stereo, kinda cheaply made though
How bad does it show? Whatever did become of all my friends?
Whatever happened to the likes of all of them?

My life is a stereo, turn me on and let's go
Turn me up louder, I'll scream as loud and clear as I can scream
And if you like what you're hearing, please hang on to me

But I like being here
And I'm all hooked up wrong
Hang on to me, I'm one in a million
One in a million, one in a million
Please hang on to me

My life is a stereo, outphased but you know
60 cycles humming, whatever happened to my friends?
Whatever happened to the likes of all of them?

Oh, I like being here
And I'm all hooked up wrong
Hang on to me, I'm one in a million
One in a million, one in a million

And my lights are like candles
I'm so afraid of new technology
I'm in the race and I don't want to be
Yeah I'm so afraid of what's to come for me
I'm in a race and I don't, I don't want to be

Life ends in a stereo, pack me up and let's go
Put me anywhere, please don't think of leaving me behind
Whatever happens to you, I'll get on just fine

I'm one of a million, one of a million
One of a million, one of a million
One of a million, one of a million
One of a million, ooohhh
Ah, ladada

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Something New

I'm gonna try something a little new for a bit. I've been drawing doodles on my computer so I'll put those up for a while.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Hard To Sleep

It's hard to sleep
with your mind on the moon
and your soul miles away.
You thought you made a clean breakaway
but it turns out the pains here to stay.
Though your body is willing to move on and forget
your mind is not yet ready
to forgive and never look back.
Despite what you say
the song remains the same
and the memory will always remain.
Burned into the newfound flesh
(the only un-scarred skin I can find)

Friday, August 17, 2007

A Letter To The Ruling Class

I hereby repeal your right to live.
No begging will restore
the light to your closed eyes.
No mattert the amount
you would pay to hear my cries
there is no way
your ears will hear anything other
than the crushing silence
of your stain
being removed from the earth
you have ruled for far too long.
Don't think you don't bleed
or that your wrists
are too special or too magical
not to be cut.
You will bleed
when we swarm your cities
and take our vengeance for years of opression
and being hunted.
There is no other way
bargaining is forbidden
with an enemy on their knees.
You will die.
And we will kill you.

I don't know why that's so angry, but I think it's decent anyway

Monday, June 18, 2007

Happy Birthday Fathers Day Song

One october night
18 years ago
I was but a thought in your mind
18 years later
I'm a full grown man
and you are the reason
that I will suceed

we may not agree
what sizes the buses should be
but we always agree
to go to VJs
We may not play
basketball anymore
but we still know
I can beat you

you may be the father
and you may know whats right
but I'm the son
and I know when to be quiet.
So no matter what happens
no matter what I say
know that I will love you
each and every day

Happy birthday
Happy fathers day
you are the best man that I know

Friday, June 15, 2007


the whine of the dive bombers
fills my ears.
The smell of the toxin
burns in my nostrils.
Every exposed bit of skin
is yet more canvas
for them to do their dirty work.
They will suck us dry
find the water
and breed more
and more and more and more
eventually they will form a black mass
and rise from the brakish water
to take all our blood to feed their young.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Holy Carp!

Instead of a poem. today I bring you great news in the "get scott famous" collum. My parents have bought me as a graduation gift, time to record three songs, get them professionaly recorde, mixed and mastered. :D

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Drink The Water

you can drink the water
but don't you dare drink the wine
there's an innocent expression
of long lost love
drowned in that alchoholic glass

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

A Message For The Women

I wanna see
anything that will
give you
enough goddamn faith
so you don't turn away
and put your faith
in a little plastic pill.
You are perfect in the way you are
so don't let the little men with the pills
try and convince you otherwise.
I want to you to learn
and to appreciate
the power women have over men
that you never seem to use.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Girl

There's in a girl underwater
her face is getting clearer
as mine grows older.
Eventually we will become one
and swim off forever undone.
I've finally made my peace
with the girl in my dreams
she comes so near
becomes me to follow
but then runs away
before i can mark her tracks
and hope to see her again

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Abominations can not be allowed to live

Friday, May 18, 2007

Beyond Blood & Thoughts

my blood and my thoughts
have conspired together
to push me much farther
than I ever thought possible.
So now, floating in the pre dawn light
I am so far beyond thoughts
I am so far beyond my own blood
that nothing else matters
not even the rain starting to fall
or the lightning crackling around us

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Down - Pillars Of Eternity

Crumbling world falls through my hands
In my mouth taste bitter sands.
Grass is burning, pulse is slow.
Drip by drip my backwards growth... crawl.
Fade to hate.
And I'll die within my fade
Wine, song, women, birth
This deflowered mother earth
Planting, plowing, how she grieves.
The seeds that grow these dying trees
Fade to hate

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Run Out Of

This poet's run out of words
he doesn't know what to say anymore.
This soldier's put down his guard
he now refuses to fight.
This priest has run out of blessings
there's no way to save yourself now
This student has stopped learning
he no longer tries or cares
This cop refuses to act
we can now do as we will.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Uncomfortably Numb

I'm simply fucking numb.
10 steps past burning out
but still one whole nights sleep
away from feeling normal.
What does THAT mean?
That I feel like I fit in?
That I feel accepted?
Like I don't stick out anymore,
that I've become
one more faceless
nameless person in this anonymous horde.
To me, being normal
is an unattainable goal
the journey would be the same
If I were searching
For the pot of gold
at the end of my rainbow.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Lame Gabriel

Lame Gabriel
limps on by
carried by one
diseased foot
and two
termite ridden crutches.
What he once promised
has now vanished
blowing off
into the blue smoke.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Marching Off To War

all the poets
simply stood idly by.
Watched and took notes
while the world burned
and the people marched
off to war,
wrapped in an all encompassing
ball of fuzz
eliminating doubt and questions.
Marching off to war.

On Your Knees And Crawl

to your master.
to your savior.
to the one that controls you.
Crawl across bloody minefields,
salvation lies awake
awaiting the first
desperate soldier
to stumble across her
and drink her all down
in one last desperate attempt
to escape the threshing fields.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Animal Scream

Guess what I'm wishing for
when I stare into your face.
Can you hear what I gasp
as I fall farther and farther
away from you
and into the pit.
Can you hear my animal scream
ripped from my lungs
once I realize I'll never see you again.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Delerious Dream

Can you be real?
For you are far too good to be true,
I want to know
what our truth is
but I'm scared
that if I poke and prod
and ask too many open ended questions
that I will awake
the bubble will pop
and this will all have been a dream.
But even if
this turns out to be a delirious dream
then the past 3 weeks
have been the best waking dream
I have ever had.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

More Questions

Dumbo knows how to fly
but he's forgotten how to live.
Too much dancing with the razor
will drain the energy from the strongest of men.
Once the crayons are all broken
who will be your blank canvass?
Will you tell me how to live
if I show you how to die?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Honest Hitchhikers (Silver Sun Rip)

Totally sedated
living through the ages.
Join in the last hurrah
with open sores and open palms.
One foot already in the grave
'cause the seal was broken
by the time
the misaddressed package
arrived at my house.
Assorted true fictions
let out with a yelp.
a down turn in the proceedings.
On foot on the shattered floor
while a bleeding voice
gives directions
over a staticy p.a.
Go ask mommy, dearest
for permission
to slip away in the night.
Hopefully never to return.
To always move on
never doubling back
to pick up honest hitchhikers.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Time Out For A Rant

Okay, so I won't bore with the whole damn story, but let it be said once again, that parents are dumb shits that jump to conclusions and never understand what's going on in their teenagers head.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

A Writing Workshop With An Unorginal Writer

A 5 coloured room
filled with graying hair
bald spots
and unfulfilled dreams.
The windows are pried open
a clock across the street
watches and marks
the slow progress
of a time
in a boardroom
in a sleepy inner city.
A train rolls on by
and Chinatown buzzes
Favourite authors
story recommendations
and writing advice
are all tossed around
as my pen flips and flops
between living and dieing.
The jumpy, twitchy energy
flowing through the room
makes my pen
want to jump
and scream for joy.
Hooray it cries
The hole is unplugged
I can write again!
As long as my pen
doesn't die

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Jet Black Lady

Dear Jet Black Lady
who's oblivious to me.
Follow me down
into the flowing green grass
and see how evil we can be.
We waste our breath
arguing over who's the best,
while overseas
people argue
over where the bodies will be pilled.
Homemade surgeries
are the best they can be,
they may cut out the cancer
but unless you know
how twisted we can be
your limbs will merge together
in this ice cold melting pot.
And come out the other side.
At least we hope it reemerges.
We don't exactly have all the kinks worked out yet.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Unforsaken Soul

Karma is far more vicious
than any torture device I could devise
to wreak my vengeance
my long over due revenge
on your warm yet unforsaken soul.

Monday, April 16, 2007

The Barrios Are Burning

Hey apathetic middle class,
do you smell what I smell?
It's the smell and the sound
of the barrios burning.
If you don't respond
to the haunted cries from the ghetto,
then they will respond with their own answers.
Ones formed in the brutal fire of self survival,
they will answer you with suicide bombers
and your precious suburbs
will run red with your spilt blood.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

As The Smoke Clears

And now as the smoke clears
I can almost see through the light
there's a chance to save my life
to say what's right
to maybe even stay the night.
Because it's a damn
sight, better than what
I would be doing
if I were to be alone tonight.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Of Who Will I Dream?

If I lay here
if I simply fell asleep here
of who would I dream?
Who would wander
into my mind
and free me from the darkness
that I once cherished
but has now become my tomb.
Although I don't remember my dreams
I will always remember your face
when it graces my dreams

Friday, April 13, 2007

Help Lines & Suicides

Help Lines & Suicides
Helplines and suicides
I'm scared to look at you in the eye.
I can try and take this
one day at a time.
I can try and make a list
of all the ways I care.
Maybe then you'll understand,
it's in the way I stare.
No matter what else is going on
I hear your voice
or see your face
or even read your words
and everything else melts away.
I've put my faith into my words,
and prayed to someone
that they won't fail me now.
My words
are completely useless
when put to the test.
They pale in comparison
to the light that shines
when I think of you.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Open My Eye

In lieu of our regularily scheduled depressing poetry, I have a happy poem written about someone that means a lot to me.

You make wanna
try and live again.
To open up my eyes
and see the world
for what it truly is.
For I no longer wish
To walk alone in the darkness.
It's time for us
to walk together in the light.
Any mistakes I may make
would be nothing
compared to the mistake
that I would make
if I let you go

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Sad Star

your sad star
Still shines down
Lighting up the path
So I know
how to return
To where you'll meet me

if you listen to me singing and playing guitar, you may know this as part of the chorus for Song For Erika, changed around to be not so depressing

Oh buddy, check out how many posts!!!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

You're Still The

You're still the sigh that is in my lungs
You're still the smile that is on my lips
You're still the itch on my fingertips
You're still the sight that sticks in my eyes
You're still the bang that lingers in my ears

Monday, April 09, 2007

Price To Play

what price would I play
To ensure this turns out all right?
How many drafts would I write
To make sure the ending is happy?
How many lives would I cast off
To make sure that in the final scene
We are all satisfied?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Seen The Power, Seen The Faith

I've seen the power
That a holy place brings
I've seen the faith
In a lonesome child's face
But there are few things
That can compare
To travelling far far away
And spending twice that time
Coming back home
To see you again

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Life Is Smores

life is so much more
Than money and toys
There are ways to have fun
That can never be bought
For a 75% discount
At your local Wal Mart
Look at the one you love
Then look at where you are
There are millions of things
You can do without
Spending a dime
Thousands Of ways
You can spend some time
Without needing a rhyme

Friday, April 06, 2007

Reap The Stolen Harvests

when we walk into those fields
We reap the harvest
That others have sown
it's not theft
At least not yet
We do not intend to steal
But we need to survive
They stole from us
So what gives them the right
To say that we can't
Steal it right back
But there are somethings
Even we cannot steal
Once you've looked
Me straight in the eye
I know when you are about to lie

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Keep Up Girl

This kind of love is hard to find
keep up girl or you'll be left behind
Dropped back and forced
To swallow dust as we charge
Onward and onward
What are we doing
In the relentless march
of time as we march
Onward and backward
Turning around in circles and circles
Never knowing
What we're living for
Let alone
What we were dieing for.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

A Double Header: Candles Burn & Married In The Dead Of The Night

Candles Burn
Candles burn
Just like the witches
Conjuring dreams
After black masses
Shadows dance
Dip and dive
Creating stories
Too gory to hide

Married In The Dead Of Night
Though the church was deserted
We still were married
In the dead of night
When no one was around
To see the glorius unity
Of two souls
One dark and one light
Joining forever and ever
Or at least
Untill she gets ahead

Monday, April 02, 2007

Rusty Swings

on rusty swings we play
Getting higher as we go
Flighing off
into the ether
Never ever wanting
To come back down
so Give me one last push
And I'll blast off
In a wave of smoke
Into the atmosphere
Where I promise
To never look down
And never to look back
What's done is owed
We've all gotten high
From flying on the swings

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Before The Celebration

Before the celebration
There was silence
Before the laughter
There was hatred
There was an air between
Almost a brick wall
That wanted to keep us apart
But we overcame that
And wandered over
And wandered over
To the other side
Where we could fine
Just what we
Didn't really know
What we were looking for

Friday, March 16, 2007

Please Don't Sleep

Please don't sleep my love
That face does not
Make you attractive to me
There never was enough
of a spark
To keep my fire burning
I got no excuse
I hope that's alright
Cause i ain't beggin
For no apology
There's no point
In wasting the breath
When I know one hundred percent
That there's no way
that I deserve it

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Self Destruction (God Made Flesh)

with a lust for self destruction
And an appetite for poison on my mind
Frailty in the eternal winter
The avalanche master will not obey
He will only despise your will
The will to live and shirk the controls
Designed to ensure
That you live
The way they want you to, without
a single ounce of control
that would give you
The freedom to not die
At someone's else hands

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I Wanted

I wanted to see
If four walls could hold me
I wanted to see
If i would ever sleep again
I wanted to see
If fire would even burn me

Monday, March 12, 2007

Rusty Stairs

on rusty swings we play
Getting higher as we go
Flying off
into the ether
Never ever wanting
To come back down
so Give me one last push
And I'll blast off
In a wave of smoke
Into the atmosphere
Where I promise
To never look down
And never to look back
What's done is owed
We've all gotten high
From flying on the swings

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Halfway To The Stairs

We were halfway to the stairs
When you decided
That you no longer
Wanted to go on this trip
All our planning
All our packing
has gone to waste
Destroyed in much haste
By your tongue which spoke too soon
For now we are far away
The tension gone
The fear dissipated
You turned to me
and said
"Let's climb those stairs now"

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Does The Left Hand Know?

Does the right hand know
That your left hand
In it’s long and prolonged absence
Is considering a rebellion?
To take back control
Of the pleasure that rules
It’s masters mind.
There is only
One hand that may
Emerge from the struggle
Victorious, with only
A few scars. Although
Both may be intact
Under the skin
The signs are perfectly
Obvious to those
Who decide
Not to be oblivious

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Don't Need This Crutch

I need you
I don't this crutch
We've been dancing for so long
You've got to breath sometimes
No matter how hard
You clench your eyes shut
When you open your eyes
You should know
You will always know
That I will be here
Even the threat of death
Even the gI need you
I don't this crutch
We've been dancing for so long
You've got to breath sometimes
No matter how hard
You clench your eyes shut
When you open your eyes
You should know
You will always know
That I will be here
Even the threat of death
Even the guarantee of hatred
Would not drive me from your side

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Wanderlust Will Sell Your Soul

Wanderlust will sell my soul
You left me cold
Never knowing where to go
When I was bold
You said go away
When I was on hold
You said that's not what I need
When I was happy
I made you sad
And when I was sad
That made you happy
This love for me
Is like the worst disease
I can't admit to having
Admitting to weakness
Is worse than the real thing
Even if strength is a figment
Of my overactive imagination
It's better than the reality
Of an over used world

Friday, January 19, 2007

Twist & Pull

Even the hate
Doesn't feel like it should
Even when you're gone
The hatred will remain
The words will fade
But these scars never will
Even as my memories leave
Fall through my fingers
Like sand through the sifter
My addiction to your thoughts
My addiction to you
Will remain
As strong as ever
No matter how many times
I try and calculate
The way out of this circle
That sucks me back in every time
I can never escape
You twist and pull me
Flip me around and play me for a fool
The fool I always am
The fool I refuse to see
I don't see what you see
You see what I never will see
I've tried faking it long enough
It's time to fess up
And face my own conscious

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Only Way Out Is Further In

These inside fears are the worst
That I've ever had to face
There is no greater fear
Than what dwells inside
For what dwells inside lives without a name
And those without a name
Cannot be destroyed
Or ignored, or gotten rid of
You have to live with it
And cherish them, as they eat you alive
Even as they destroy you
Crush you from the inside out
You must love them the same
Because if you give up hope
You give up all chance of survival
All chance of sanity
There is not a single thing you can do
Except close your eyes
And wait for the inevitable dawn
Once the transfer is over
Once the circumstances are correct
Then you can open your eyes
And admit you have changed
Look yourself in the eye
And know that you are not you anymore
What you once hosted
What served you has turned the tables
You know live inside of it
Never knowing when you escape
So start eating my friend
The only way out is further in.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Compartmentalize Or Die

Conversations alone
Are a lot less boring
Than conversations with the dead
Conversations with the dead
Leave you depressed
Dragged down
To their little level
Level your life out
You're taking on water
Listen to the whisper
From the romantic wreckage
There you'll find
The answers you need
The stuff you were trying to find
From the first second you stepped foot
On this misbegotten plan
Every idea is unworthy
Every plan will fail
Unless you don't care
So they can't scare you anymore
But as long as you care
As long as you can't let go
Then you will fail
Compartmentalize or die

Monday, January 15, 2007

Watery Mournfall

Tentative pastoral controversy
Change wandering
swirling caucophony
Surface elsewhere
Somewhat mysterious
Flurries to a minimum
Pouring into and out
Tentative seemingly under
shimmer drift & glisten
Three chords and a violin
simply a chant
Consider "traditional"
Watery mournfal
Centerpiece overdub
Drone overlap
Masking mirroring
Holding turbulence
Catharsis drama
Quiet tension
Usher in the aftermath
Whispering generous background
Poetic and lying
Dense solitute
Desire remembrance
Extend empty terrain
See into secret truths
Speak immeasurably small
Shimmering honest
Emotional dynamic

(This too is a found poem. Found in a review of Dirty Three's Ocean Songs album)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Singular Belief

The abandoned shall rise again
The beaten shall rome the earth
After all has fallen
After the oppressions are driven from the land
Even the most ugly
The most repressed
And certainly the least worthy
Will have more than is her due
There is no limit
To how low the poor can fall
And there is only one limit
As to how rich
The top can get
They can only take
As much as the poor
Have to give
For once the poor run out
Of willing sacrifices
Once they loose their lives
They have nothing left to give
You can't eat thoughts
You won't survive on philosophy
And no matter how interesting
An argument can be
You will die first
Rather than survive
On a singular belief

Self Disconnect

Is there a way
To destroy all
everything I never said
All I wanted to say
But never had the chance
Hit the self destruct
Or the self disconnect
And find out who you are
When the chips are down
And the ships head out to sail
There is no other way
To connect inside
Look inside
Through the ever widening divide
And truly know you
And truly hate you
For there can never be a you
There can only be a me
And the tip of the knife
We are all dancing on
Fall of and you are doomed
Destined to be forgotten
Blow up in righteousness
Know you died
Fighting for the right cause
There can only be one
And that one must be me

Friday, January 12, 2007

Read Through The Centuries

Can't read through the centuries
Lock me down
And keep me safe
Padlock my brain
Tell me you'll keep it free
Wait for the tide
It will be yours
Everything will be yours
Because there will be nothing left
To divide up amongst us
There is no way of knowing
Of predicting the victor
And to the victor go the spoils
And the spills
And the barbed wire pills
To the victor go the history books
To write the story as he sees fit
There is no truer truth
Than the one written
From the end of a gun
On the tip of a bullet
Is all the truth
You will ever need to deny
All wrapped up
In a bottle of gin

Plummeting To Obscurity

Fond of the death spiral
Plummeting to obscurity
Try and escape
You only fall faster
Deeper and deeper
Farther and farther
Away from those
That said they cared
But they'll never really know
What happens behind
This painted pony
That goes down and up
Up and down
Side to side
Caught in a circular landslide

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Locked In

Lock in
Go for the kill
Know what you want
Hate what you need
Let's use this light
Turn fate around
There can only be one
To turn this boat around
We could lose control
We could lose all hope
Impressioned and threatened
Shoved out into cold
Not knowing when to stop
Never look back
Don't let the clock stop
If the flag waves
For the final lap
Around the track
If the race must stop
Then I must let
Let go
Don't worry
It's all downup from here
Let go of yourself
The ego is the problem
The id is the cure

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Less Epic More Raw

Unhinged from the beginning
Amuse the unamused
Hyperactive Sun Burn
Fight To Survive
The world should be watching
Mesmerising full sound
World torn apart
Listen up
Battle comparisons
In sync for the first time
Biggest package you can
Strike a nerve
Paranoid musings
Somewhat disturbed
Always disturbing
Rock thunder
Down the mountain
Fueled by fear
Infidelity and random murders
Baroque drama
Sits out and steps in
Polished and slick
Less epic more raw
Jackhammers and chainsaws
Bloodcurdling falsetto
Progressive small doses
Headstrong tackle on
Crave unrelenting
Grandiose ambitions

(this is not technically a poem I wrote. It's a found poem using words and phrases that appeared in reviews of Muse albums.)

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Fool For You

Can't you feel him coming?
Creeping up behind you
He's got his army locked in now
No way out but deeper in
There's now way out but deeper in
Look around you
He'll see you soon
Don't worry
It'll only sting a bit
You won't ever have to worry
About your problems again
While your off
Playing in the jungle
The rapidly growing suburbia
Contained within your shrinking mind
He's on wrapping his grip
Around every little problem
You may have created at one time
In your pathetic little mind
When you rub him that way girl
He says you set his soul alive

Friday, January 05, 2007

Essence Of You

Resist the soul attack
That eats away
At the essence of you
The only way you'll ever know
if you were meant to surive
Is to look back
Through mud coloured glasses
And reassses what you thought
Was lost forever
There is no way
To know forever
The only way
Is to now for now

New Story, Untitled As of Right Now

“This looks like the perfect spot Dave, what do you think?” Dave couldn’t actually hear her, as he was about 10 feet behind her, carrying the picnic basket, a jug of water, 2 lawn chairs and a giant umbrella. “Dave? Didn’t you hear what I said? What do you think of this spot?” Stumbling into the clearing, Dave dropped the stuff he was carrying except the water jug. Leaning back he took a gigantic gulp of water. Looking around and wiping the sweat off his brow, Dave said, “It looks just like the other 10 spots we’ve passed. Perfectly fine for a picnic.” Dave put down the jug of water and reached into the picnic basket, looking for a cookie.

Reaching over, Maria slapped his hand away. “If you want food, you are going to have to work for it Mister.” Groaning, Dave slipped to the ground. “We’ve already walked for 2 miles, most of it up hill. Thanks for helping me up that last hill by the way.” Maria reached for his hand, grinning, “I love it when you’re frustrated, it makes your freckles merge together.” “Thanks. Thanks a lot.” Dave said as he stretched for the lawn chairs on the ground. Finally grabbing one, he flipped it open, and dragged himself up onto it.

“Did you happen to pack anything alcoholic in that damn picnic basket of yours?” Dave asked, settling into his chair. “As a matter of fact I did.” His face lighting up, Dave reached for the picnic basket again. Slapping his hand away again, Maria motioned towards the forest. “How can you think of drinking when you’re surrounded by lush vegetation?” “If by lush you mean covered in roots to stumble over, infected with bugs to poison me and filled with animals wanting to eat me, then yes, I would rather drink.”

Maria reached in and pulled Dave up out of his comfy chair. Giving him a slight push, she ran into the rainforest. “Here we go again” Dave muttered as he gave chase. For as long as Dave had known Maria, going on 3 years now, he had never known her to make anything easy. As he gave chase, Dave pulled down tree branches and vines, attempting to mark a path so they could find their way back again.

On and on they ran, through the remote rainforest. Eventually the forest gave out and they were running through the giant rolling hills. Cattle and sheep just stared as the two of them went running past. Eventually Maria either started getting tired or was feeling sorry for Dave so she slowed down and she let him tackle her. They fell together onto the soft grassy hillside, going down in a giant ball of tickling laughter.

Their laughter was quickly brought to a halt by the ominous sound of a gun being cocked. Freezing in place, both Maria and Dave slid apart on the ground. Looking up at the man holding the gun, Dave slowly put his arms up in the air. Looking at Maria, the man said “You might make like your boyfriend unless you want to be ventilated Miss.”

Giving him a stare that would boil water, Maria slowly raised her hands as well. Backing up slightly, the man gave them both a good looking over, then slowly said “Alright. Unless you want to end up as dead as that coyote over there, I suggest you listen to me.” Both Maria and Dave turned their heads at the same time to look at the gruesome sight of a coyote mid-decomposition. “The lack of Vultures around here makes Mother Nature work a little slower than normal.”

Cautiously standing up, Dave asked, “Who the hell are you?” Grinning, the man with the gun smiled and reached into his pocket. “My name’s William Carter, but you can call me Bill. Hope you don’t mind if I smoke.” Reaching into his left breast pocket, Bill fished out a cigarette, left it dangling in his mouth while he fished around in his pocket for a lighter. Lighting it, his wrinkled face curled into a smile. “You are both smarter than I first thought. But not smart enough.”

“How are we not smart enough? We’ve managed to not get shot yet, that seems pretty smart to me.” Mariah said, raising herself up off the ground. “If you were smart enough you would have rushed me while I was getting my lighter, I was distracted and only had one hand. But before you go down that line of thinking any farther, I won’t be doing that again.”

Moving forward a little, Dave brought his hand out in front of him. “My name’s Dave Grant.” Eyeing Dave’s hand suspiciously, Bill slowly brought up his hand and shook Dave’s. “I don’t see how that matters much, but nice to meet you anyway.” As Bill’s attention was on Dave’s hand, Maria launched herself at Bill’s gun arm. Reacting quickly, Bill swung his arm up and down on Maria’s neck, knocking her down to the ground. Leaning over her, he pulled her long black hair away from her neck and stubbed out his cigarette on her neck.

Stepping away from her, he spat to the side “That’ll teach you a little respect.” Dave stepped forward, the vein in his neck bulging. “I can see you’re a fast little bugger Dave, but I bet you that my trigger finger is faster. Wanna see?” It was very obvious that Dave was fighting as hard as he could to not clobber the guy. Seething in anger, the smoke almost literally blowing out of his ears, Dave stepped back and unclenched his fist.

“That’s right Davey boy. Now you just help your girlfriend up there and we’ll be on our way.” Bill motioned with his pistol for Dave to help Mariah up. As Dave picked her up, Bill said “Now, you walk that way, and I’ll follow you. Just follow my directions and nothing bad will happen.” Dave shrugged and started walking.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Never Await Another Sunrise

Why can't you feel just like I do
Why do people have to be so different
If we were made for each other
And we where made for each other
Why are our minds so fixed on different things
All I want, is one little world
All I need is that one little world
Just three big letters and I'll be on my way
On to bigger but not better things
Things that will take my mind off
The inattention I've paid
To the rest of my life
The little things they build up
Slowly breaking me inside
Tearing me down from the outside in
But when you reach my hollow inside
My heart has stopped beating
And my blood has stopped flowing
There's nothing left
But a flowing
Piece of a former human
There will be nothing left
There should be nothing left
If there is something left
Then I have failed
There is nothing
Left for me to do
Except wither away
And never await
Another sunrise

[c] me

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

A Cool Comic

I did not draw this, but it pretty much sums a lot of my thoughts

Cyber Punk Anti Belief Collection, Poems 8-12

Save Me
Can't you tell
That twinkle in my eye
Is a gentle scream
Telling you to come save me
Save me from my best intentions
If you have ever cared about me
Now's the time to prove it
Save me from myself
And prove that you care

Trapped Inside

Trapped inside
This fake machine
Tells me what to believe
What to think
How to believe
Hit the ground running
Never ask for more
Never look back
And never go back

Belief in the one true power
Will leave you dead and drained
Loveless and lonely
Unlovely and ugly

Untitled For A Reason

Exist to serve
And to save
Your priceless morality
From becoming
Another uselss commodity
Asleep with our eyes
Wide open so we don't miss
The next opportunity
To shed our shackles
And escape this senseless slaughter
It's gone to waste
All our wasteful days
Never grow to anything
Never figure out what it all means

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Cyber Punk Anti Belief Collection Poems 5-8

Don’t Wanna Believe
Not sure I want to believe anymore
Not sure I believed in the first place
Disenchanted with this ghost mistress
She's the one
That's taken your place
In that space
There remains only one
ONLY one that can remain
In this stead of you and me

Love Me NOW
A waste of time
If you don't believe
In me now
Then it's a waste of time
To convince you to love me later
If you don't love me now
You'll never love me later

Same Kinda Threat
The same kinda threat
Said with a golden smile
Will kill you just as dead
As a the same kinda threat
Said with a gutter twist in mind
Spiral into the dark
No voices can be heard
Lost in our infinity
There's no way to be seen

Save heaven For ME
Save heaven for me
Little neutered boy
I'll be waiting
By the cherry blossom fountain
Waiting for you
To come strolling in
So high, fresh off cloud 9
Waiting for you
To come crawling back down
That voice you heard?
The last thing you saw?
That was me
Laughing at you
As we all fall down

Monday, January 01, 2007

The Only Way Out Is Further In

The Only Way Out Is Further In

These inside fears are the worst
That I've ever had to face
There is no greater fear
Than what dwells inside
For what dwells inside lives without a name
And those without a name
Cannot be destroyed
Or ignored, or gotten rid of
You have to live with it
And cherish them, as they eat you alive
Even as they destroy you
Crush you from the inside out
You must love them the same
Because if you give up hope
You give up all chance of surivival
All chance of sanity
There is not a single thing you can do
Except close your eyes
And wait for the enevitable dawn
Once the transfer is over
Once the circumstances are correct
Then you can open your eyes
And admit you have changed
Look yourself in the eye
And know that you are not you anymore
What you once hosted
What served you has turned the tables
You know live inside of it
Never knowing when you escape
So start eating my friend
The only way out is further in.