What would happen
if I told you to drive?
Which way would your thoughts run me?
Straight off the cliff
throw off me the mountain.
Free fall
all ready fallen.
Free fallen but I've already fallen.
I dunno, maybe I try to hard
smawj.bandcamp.com. Free music.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Everyone Hates Chad Kroeger
First of all, I love stumble upon. And when it brings theme's, it becomes very obvious. One hiliarious, but bordering on annoying, is the hatred of Nickelback. We've all heard the comparison of How You Remind Me in one speaker and Someday in the other and hearing the exact same song.
But did you know that Chad Kroeger can do an amazing act. Ah, If only the internet had the magical powers those who send chain emails wish it did.
For a real world example of how much Nickelback actually suck, check this video, hilarious to say the least.
But did you know that Nickelback causes global warming? Join in my blockade and save our world and our ears!
But did you know that Chad Kroeger can do an amazing act. Ah, If only the internet had the magical powers those who send chain emails wish it did.
For a real world example of how much Nickelback actually suck, check this video, hilarious to say the least.
But did you know that Nickelback causes global warming? Join in my blockade and save our world and our ears!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Rosie the Riveter sketch
I'm not sure if this is funny or not, but it sure amused me. I hope the concepts are clear enough, nothing too complicated here
A house with 4 long corridors connecting to 4 almost turret like buildings.
Zoom into one of the turrets, it ‘s a fancy dining room table with a table set for 3. Only the mother and the son are present and they are both fuming at the empty place at the table.
Cut to the boy sitting on his bed swinging his legs. He looks at the phone in his hand, picks it up and dials. Cut to a bubble of his father and him talking to each other connected by a telephone cord.
“We missed you at dinner”
“I was busy”
“We both know where you were”
“Look, now isn’t the best time.”
“I’m coming over”
“Now is not a good time jimmy!”
“I don’t care, I ‘ll see you soon!”
The boys circle vanishes and the man’s expands to reveal the entire room. He is lying next to his wife in bed. They are both sweaty and naked. He looks at her “That was Jimmy, he’ll be here in a minute.”
Jimmy kicks down the door and is immediately embarrassed. He straightens himself and accuses his dad “So where were you for dinner?” His wife takes up the tone and starts asking the same thing.
slides out from under the bed and winks. Cut to next scene
A house with 4 long corridors connecting to 4 almost turret like buildings.
Zoom into one of the turrets, it ‘s a fancy dining room table with a table set for 3. Only the mother and the son are present and they are both fuming at the empty place at the table.
Cut to the boy sitting on his bed swinging his legs. He looks at the phone in his hand, picks it up and dials. Cut to a bubble of his father and him talking to each other connected by a telephone cord.
“We missed you at dinner”
“I was busy”
“We both know where you were”
“Look, now isn’t the best time.”
“I’m coming over”
“Now is not a good time jimmy!”
“I don’t care, I ‘ll see you soon!”
The boys circle vanishes and the man’s expands to reveal the entire room. He is lying next to his wife in bed. They are both sweaty and naked. He looks at her “That was Jimmy, he’ll be here in a minute.”
Jimmy kicks down the door and is immediately embarrassed. He straightens himself and accuses his dad “So where were you for dinner?” His wife takes up the tone and starts asking the same thing.
slides out from under the bed and winks. Cut to next scene
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Danny
For lack of a better title at the moment, this story is called Danny. It's less than 800 words so it should go really quickly if you only got a minute.
The sun was setting and Danny was stoned, he had been smoking in the sun since noon so by now he was as mellow as mellow can get. He didn’t notice when Gloria sat down next to him. After a minute he looked over and saw her “Oh, hey sis, when did you get here?” She smiled softly, “Just a minute ago Danny, don’t worry.” She lit up her smoke. “So you missed it then.” Danny’s face turned an even whiter shade of pale as Gloria passed her smoke to him. “Missed what?” Danny laughed a little “Me telling him that I’ve lost that three quarters of a million he gave me for the start up.” Gloria grabbed her smoke back “Are you trying to kill the old man?” Danny smirked “He certainly tried to kill me.” Gloria blinked. Danny cleared his throat and spat into the sand.
“I’m not worried though, I’ve been in tighter spots before.” Gloria shook her head, the smoke settling around them in the lack of a breeze. “Not with dad’s money you haven’t.” “So why are you here Gloria?” Danny tries to stand up, his legs swaying the whole way. He holds his hand out to Gloria expecting support but she pulls him down face first into the sand. Gloria starts laughing but it quickly turns into a deep hacking cough. Danny flips onto his back and stares at the stars.
“Hey Gloria?”
“Yeah Danny?”
“What am I going to do?”
“The same thing you always do Daniel Jacob March. You’ll mope for a while, find a girl who finds your stoned melancholy sexy, dump her and go on with your life.”
Danny got up. “Is that what you think of me?”
“Gloria giggles a little. “Pardon?”
“So I’m just some lazy stoner pervert then”
“You left out charming” Gloria said with a grin
“Well you know what Gloria?” Danny got back on his feet, solid as a rock.
Gloria looked at him mildly “What Danny”
“You’re wrong. I’m not just some stoned bachelor, you’ll see.” He pulled out his cell to call a cab, because they had reposed his Mazda. Danny walked off to the road, leaving his sister amazed and his shoes buried in the sand. His sister caught up with him and tried to hand his shoes back, but without even looking down Danny just dropped them and walked over the shoes and kept walking. Gloria knelt down to pick them up and said “What am I supposed to tell dad?” Danny turns back but doesn’t stop walking. He raises his arms in frustration and says “tell him…tell him I’m going to find God!” Gloria laughs awkwardly and turns back to the house.
Danny sits at the picnic table and lights his 2nd last smoke as he waits for the cab. Great, now what have I gotten myself into, he thinks. Maybe Twiggy knows someone who can help me. The cab ride was short because the bad part of town that Danny could now afford to stay in was close to the beach. Up until last week he had been living in a penthouse, on top of the world. Now he had enough money for 3 weeks at the White House, no bath.
Danny paid the cabby what little money had left and went inside the White House. It was country & western night. Every night could be C & W night at the White House, but on Thursdays they cover the floor in sawdust and hide the spittoons. Danny trudged over to the front desk and said hello to Twiggy. Twiggy was in hell. He was the tallest, skinniest, most punk rock white kid Danny had ever seen and was in the running for most facial piercing’s. He had only taken the job because it came with a free room.
“Yeah Danny, one from a Mr. March.” Twiggy passed the message to Danny who crumpled it up and threw it in the trash without reading.
“Where am I Twiggy?”
“I don’t know man, you just stepped out.”
“You’re a real friend Twiggy, have fun tonight”
Twiggy rolls his eyes “You go to hell man”
Danny just laughs “Hey man, you know where I can find God?”
Twiggy thinks for a minute. “Isn’t He that dude that hangs out back of the KFC?”
It was Danny’s turn to think. “Could be man, you never know. Thanks.”
As Danny was pushing the door open to leave he heard Twiggy yell “Hold on a minute man!” Danny turned just in time to catch Twiggy’s doc marten boots. “I can’t ta-” “Shut the hell up and get outta here man.” The door swung shut.
The sun was setting and Danny was stoned, he had been smoking in the sun since noon so by now he was as mellow as mellow can get. He didn’t notice when Gloria sat down next to him. After a minute he looked over and saw her “Oh, hey sis, when did you get here?” She smiled softly, “Just a minute ago Danny, don’t worry.” She lit up her smoke. “So you missed it then.” Danny’s face turned an even whiter shade of pale as Gloria passed her smoke to him. “Missed what?” Danny laughed a little “Me telling him that I’ve lost that three quarters of a million he gave me for the start up.” Gloria grabbed her smoke back “Are you trying to kill the old man?” Danny smirked “He certainly tried to kill me.” Gloria blinked. Danny cleared his throat and spat into the sand.
“I’m not worried though, I’ve been in tighter spots before.” Gloria shook her head, the smoke settling around them in the lack of a breeze. “Not with dad’s money you haven’t.” “So why are you here Gloria?” Danny tries to stand up, his legs swaying the whole way. He holds his hand out to Gloria expecting support but she pulls him down face first into the sand. Gloria starts laughing but it quickly turns into a deep hacking cough. Danny flips onto his back and stares at the stars.
“Hey Gloria?”
“Yeah Danny?”
“What am I going to do?”
“The same thing you always do Daniel Jacob March. You’ll mope for a while, find a girl who finds your stoned melancholy sexy, dump her and go on with your life.”
Danny got up. “Is that what you think of me?”
“Gloria giggles a little. “Pardon?”
“So I’m just some lazy stoner pervert then”
“You left out charming” Gloria said with a grin
“Well you know what Gloria?” Danny got back on his feet, solid as a rock.
Gloria looked at him mildly “What Danny”
“You’re wrong. I’m not just some stoned bachelor, you’ll see.” He pulled out his cell to call a cab, because they had reposed his Mazda. Danny walked off to the road, leaving his sister amazed and his shoes buried in the sand. His sister caught up with him and tried to hand his shoes back, but without even looking down Danny just dropped them and walked over the shoes and kept walking. Gloria knelt down to pick them up and said “What am I supposed to tell dad?” Danny turns back but doesn’t stop walking. He raises his arms in frustration and says “tell him…tell him I’m going to find God!” Gloria laughs awkwardly and turns back to the house.
Danny sits at the picnic table and lights his 2nd last smoke as he waits for the cab. Great, now what have I gotten myself into, he thinks. Maybe Twiggy knows someone who can help me. The cab ride was short because the bad part of town that Danny could now afford to stay in was close to the beach. Up until last week he had been living in a penthouse, on top of the world. Now he had enough money for 3 weeks at the White House, no bath.
Danny paid the cabby what little money had left and went inside the White House. It was country & western night. Every night could be C & W night at the White House, but on Thursdays they cover the floor in sawdust and hide the spittoons. Danny trudged over to the front desk and said hello to Twiggy. Twiggy was in hell. He was the tallest, skinniest, most punk rock white kid Danny had ever seen and was in the running for most facial piercing’s. He had only taken the job because it came with a free room.
“Yeah Danny, one from a Mr. March.” Twiggy passed the message to Danny who crumpled it up and threw it in the trash without reading.
“Where am I Twiggy?”
“I don’t know man, you just stepped out.”
“You’re a real friend Twiggy, have fun tonight”
Twiggy rolls his eyes “You go to hell man”
Danny just laughs “Hey man, you know where I can find God?”
Twiggy thinks for a minute. “Isn’t He that dude that hangs out back of the KFC?”
It was Danny’s turn to think. “Could be man, you never know. Thanks.”
As Danny was pushing the door open to leave he heard Twiggy yell “Hold on a minute man!” Danny turned just in time to catch Twiggy’s doc marten boots. “I can’t ta-” “Shut the hell up and get outta here man.” The door swung shut.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
The End Of A Forgotten Love Song
Headphones on.
Eyes stuck in my book,
waiting for the world
to pass me by.
Hoping I don't get damned
for not wanting to try.
Eyes stuck in my book,
waiting for the world
to pass me by.
Hoping I don't get damned
for not wanting to try.
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